SMILE - SMILE -SMILE

October 3, 2025 was World Smile Day created by Harvey Ball the inventor of the smiley face. While there are numerous songs about smiles, the iconic 1977 song by Barry Manilow, “I Can’t Smile Without You” comes to mind. While it brings tears of sadness and missing it also reminds me of the very same special people who brought many smiles to my face when they were alive.

A smile can be such a positive force in your life as well to those you gift with your smile. AI can teach you all about the myriad of benefits such as releasing endorphins, boosting the immune system and improving cardiovascular health in addition to how it makes you feel.

Of course I smiled when I saw this quote on a restaurant blackboard, “A smile is the light system of your face and the healing system of the heart.”

Let’s smile - smile - smile..

-Harriet

FORGIVENESS

In 2 days Jews all over the world will gather in synagogues to begin Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. The iconic opening “Kol Nidre” (all vows) is not a prayer but rather a personal confession to God for all transgressions we may have incurred, not only for the past year but also includes the coming year, knowing as humans this is likely to occur. Whether it is recited, sung or played on a musical instrument for the required three times it has always had an emotional and spiritual impact on me.

In my file of pending blog ideas I found the “5 finger tips for a happy life”.

1- Love yourself 2- Do good 3- ALWAYS FORGIVE 4- Harm no one 5- Be positive

I recommend watching the cartoon “Landlord - Forgiveness” on YouTube for more insights.

-Harriet

STUDYING SUPERAGERS

According to Patrick Porter, Phd, neuroscience expert and founder of “Brain Tap”, SuperAgers (80 and older) exhibit cognitive capabilities comparable or even better than people in their 50’s and 60’s. The Lancet Health Longevity Journal acknowledges that SuperAgers had larger gray matter in memory related brain regions, better mental health, a higher score in agility and mobility and are more active in their daily life than typical older adults but not necessarily have a higher IQ. It is estimated that 10% qualify for this title. Among other institutions the University of Michigan is conducting multiple studies related to SuperAgers.

What do these SuperAgers have in common, you ask? Zest for life, positive attitude, strong social connections, well balanced diet, regular physical activity and a desire to keep learning.

My research led me to a Vogue story (November 24, 2024) claiming Copenhagen is the “slow aging” capital of Europe. I encourage you to Google the article to learn why that’s true. Having spent time with my family in Copenhagen three times in three years I witnessed the Danes' healthy minded lifestyle. Reading that article has motivated me to use a sauna more frequently.

What will you be doing to advance your chances of being a SuperAger?

-Harriet

POSITIVELY POSITIVE

I heard the word POSITIVITY for the first time the other day from a friend who was sharing her grief journey of her husband’s debilitating illness and recent death. According to Oxford Language it’s the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude and in life. The Mayo Clinic lists a myriad of gains of positive thinking; for example many physical and emotional health benefits and increased life span. You can research that for yourself.

My friend Barbara left me with this message, “There are no good days but there is good in every day.”

Find the good in your days.

-Harriet

LANGUAGE of LOSS

I’m confident many of you have heard of the “Five Love Languages”. According to behavioral scientist Dr. Zelana Montminy there are five loss languages as well.

Recently my dear friend Sally shared a gift; a long poem entitled “Loss Has A Language” by Shashank Sharma that artfully and accurately articulates the nuances of grief. Here are some excerpts.

“You learn it when somebody leaves, They don’t take everything. They leave a hundred little versions of themselves…Their slippers near the door. The way they used to say your name… It happens in pieces…In the ringtone you hear…and then it happens in guilt. For laughing again…For deleting their number…They say ‘time heals'…grief isn’t a wound. It’s a season. You don’t heal from winter. You live through it…And in some ways, they never really leave…”That’s what love does. It doesn’t end. It evolves. From presence to memory, From voice to echo.”

I encourage you to read the entire poem.

-Harriet

GRIEF IS IMPORTANT

That was the title of a blog I wrote in April 2019 when I quoted the wise words of Madisyn Taylor. You might want to reread it as I did today knowing I too need reminders as I grieve for the recent long anticipated death of my sister.

In a later blog I wrote “Many of you may remember the 3 R’s as reading, “riting and ‘rithmetic. The 6 R’s for healthy grieving are REMEMEBER REMINISCE RECALL RETELL RITUAL and RELAX. “ I am doing all those.

Yesterday I received the most poignant and helpful email message from a tennis friend. It read “I am so sorry to hear of your sister’s passing. I know she had Alzheimer’s but she was your sister. It hurts. There is a hole in your heart. You are in my prayers.” And I will do everything I know to heal that hole.

-Harriet

REMEMBERING THE POPE

Weak after experiencing prolonged illness and lengthy hospitalizations Pope Francis chose to be wheeled out to the central balcony overlooking the Easter Sunday crowds gathered in St Peter’s Square to offer what would be his final blessing before his death.

Following the blessing Archbishop Diego Ravelli read the Pope’s entire Easter message, part of which was a calling for all people regardless of one’s religious practice or being an agnostic or atheist. “…On this day I would like all of us to hope anew and to revise our trust in others, including those who are different than ourselves or who come from distant lands, bringing unfamiliar customs, ways of life and ideas…”

And to support his legacy of love, tolerance and inclusion for one another 40 people, each holding a white rose, were chosen as honorary pall bearers to represent the marginalized populations he embraced; prisoners, migrants, LGBTQ and the homeless.

Let’s REMEMBER this Pope. Let’s REMEMBER his message.

-Harriet

REMINISCE, REMINISCE, REMINISCE

Have you ever seen a jogger or walker going backwards? It seems that bio mechanic researchers have found a myriad of benefits, for example, strengthening of back and ankle muscles, increasing hamstring strength and flexibility, improving balance and coordination and reducing lower back pain.

Not sure that I’ll be trying that soon but I am aware that as I am aging (about to celebrate a big birthday soon) I’m reminiscing daily. It might be a momentary recall of a memory or verbally sharing mt memory with a friend or family member. In researching the benefits of reminiscing I’ve learned there are many. It enhances self esteem, reduces negative emotions, depression and loneliness, develops communication skills, fosters mental stimulation and strengthens and deepens our friendships and preserves family history.

Hopefully you’ll engage in one or both of these beneficial activities.

-Harriet

LOVE, LOVE and LOVE

Valentines’s Day (February 14) originated as a Christian feast day honoring the martyr Valentine but has morphed into a celebration of love and affection, acknowledged with greeting cards, balloons, chocolates, flowers and gifts to one’s romantic partner. As you already know there’s a myriad of sentimental stories, poems and songs capitalizing on Valentine’s Day and passionate love.

This Valentine’s Day I’m focusing on my varied and abundant loves in my life. I love GOD to whom I’m grateful for the countless gifts I’ve received throughout my life. Like you, I love my children and grandchildren with all my heart. I love my tried and true friends. I love the memories of family and friends who have predeceased me and all the love and experiences we had shared.

Not in any order of priority I love the wonder and beauty of nature, travel, sailing, physical activities, adventure, hugs and kisses, music, giraffes, open-honest communication, Israel, helping others, driving in my blue convertible, writing, dancing, laughing and learning from others.

I hope you too can create a list of LOVES in your life.

-Harriet

PREACHER, POLITICIAN and Modern Day PROPHET (part 2)

Tomorrow January 20 will be another example of two major holidays falling on the same day - a not too common experience. Inauguration Day is always January 20 and this year it falls on the third Monday in January, the national holiday celebrating the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr. It was signed into law in 1983 by President Reagan to honor MLK as the main spokesperson for non violent action during the Civl Rights Movement. He stood for JUSTICE and EQUALITY; that is giving each person what he or she deserves. As a leader he was ethical, civic minded and had the ability to inspire others.

I honored MLK in last January’s blog with some of my favorite quotes. One of my readers suggested we remember them everyday. This is a timely one: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere”.

-Harriet

SHARING is CARING

Just five days before Christmas/Hanukkah (only the 5th time they were on the same day in 114 years) my friend Cathy shared what she was planning to do for her granddaughters’ holiday gifts. I was all over it! “What a great idea!” I said and so I sent the following group text to my 7 grandchildren, ages 21-31.

“In keeping with Judaism’s history of continuity and change I am creating a new ritial in gifting each of you Hanukkah gelt (money) for $200. $100 is for your own enjoyment or purchase. The other $100 is for you to donate to a favorite charity or cause of your choosing. We all have been supported by those who have come before us and now it’s your turn to support others….” Wishing you a meaningful Hanukkah and Christmas. Love, Nanny

Their responses were immediate, appreciative and affirming! This idea could also apply to a birthday or graduation gift/

Spread the word and help inspire our younger generations to create a better 2025.

-Harriet

TRULY THANKFUL on THANKSGIVING

Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world. Name 5 gold medalists from the 2024 Olympics. Name the last 6 Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. Name 5 people who have won the Nobel Peace or Pulitzer Prize. Name 5 presidents or Prime Ministers. (Not easy !)

Try these next questins: List a couple of teachers who supported you through school. Name 3 friends who helped you when you needed them. Name a few people who taught you something worthwhile. Name those who have made you feel worthwhile. Think of 3 people who you enjoy spending time with.

Did it really matter whether you could answer the first set of questions?

Trrophies tarnish. Applause dies. Achievementa are forgotten. Yesterday’s headlines vanish.

Tomorrow on Thanksgiving and EVERYDAY focus on what truly matters - relationships, mentorships and kindness…………….

-Harriet

LOVELY LADIES

This morning I woke to a beautifully written email from one of the leaders on my recent Backroads hiking trip in the Peloponnese area of Greece; a vacation I shared with my granddaughter Allie in honor of her college graduation. We were joined by 18 other dynamic and active women, ages 23-84. Antonia greeted us each morning with “Hey lovely ladies!” accentuated by her exuberant personality, her Greek accent and her beautiful smiling face.

What was unique about this email was the following message: “Tonia, Dimi and I cannot thank you enough. It is special and life giving when groups treat each other with kindness, respect and interest in the other that each of you showed. You made us feel like we were family for the week, a family created by your care, compassion and generosity for each other, and for us. Thank you for sharing your lives with us and for being part of ours. It was truly a gift.”

The message ended with a quote from the Greek philosopher Plato; “It is impossible for the world to get better unless humans get better first.”

-Harriet

REFLECTION-RENEWAL-RESILIENCE-RETURN

Based on the Hebrew calendar Rosh Hashanah commences at sundown October 2, beginning a ten day span concluding with Yom Kippur on October 12. This period is called “Ten Days of Awe” or “Ten Days of Repentance”; a time for introspection.

As always I will reflect on my personal actions or lack thereof during this past year and ask for forgiveness from others as well as forgive those who may have been hurtful towards me as I strive to be a more caring person in the new year.

However, this holy time takes on a new meaning for me as we approach the one year anniversary of the October 7 massacre in Israel of 1200 people and the capture of 251 hostages, all leading to more turmoil in an already beleaguered Middle East. One thing I’m clear about; the Jewish people have for thousands of years been resilient!

I ask you to join me in a prayer for SHALOM (peace).

-Harriet

QUARTET of QUOTABLE QUOTES

August for me had been a time for sitting quietly under the tall shade trees in my backyard reading a book or napping in the hammock, floating in the warm waters of the Atlantic Ocean or sailing on Long Island Sound when the winds came up in the late afternoon.

Among many beliefs August is spiritually a time of transition into that which is lighter and more positive aa well as an opportunity to explore one’s inner self. With that in mind I offer these four quotes.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within” Maya Angelou

“Service to others is the rent we pay for room on earth” Muhammad Ali

““Eat half, walk more, laugh triple and love without measure” Tibetan Proverb

“ A smile is the lighting system of the face and the healing system of the heart” written on the blackboard of a restaurant called Sara’s Kitchen.

-Harriet

BIKES, BICYCLES and BICYCLING

Thanks to Karl von Drais, a German Baron, people all over the world have enjoyed the pleasure and practicality of riding a bicycle. In 1817 he made one of wood, having no pedals, gears or chains and propelled himself along by pushing himself, one foot after the other. Did you ever ride a bicycle when you were young? Maybe you called it a two wheeler, a major move from the tricycle you began on. Perhaps you graduated to a 10 speed. Hopefully, you still take a ride once in a while.

As a child and teen I enjoyed the freedom and independence of riding around town and sometimes even further, visiting friends and exploring other neighborhoods. Having recently returned from a multisport Backroads trip with my family on the southern coast of France I experienced the freedom and joy once again. Today the advent of the e bike gave me the necessary boost to tackle the demanding inclines and experience the ultimate exhilaration of coasting down the subsequent hills and switchbacks. I felt like that 10 year old once again.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” (Albert Einstein)

So - KEEP MOVING…………………..

-Harriet

JUNETEENTH

Former Secretary of State Condolezza Rice has written about growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, the most segregated city in the US at that time, where her father could not be assured his vote would count, and people of color could not go to the movies, sit at a lunch counter or go to school alongside white children. She was eight years old when the 16th Street Baptist Church, where her father was the pastor, was bombed killing four children, two of whom she knew.

Although slavery had officially ended on June 19, 1865 it wasn’t until 2021 when Congress voted unanimously to make the date of June 19 a federal holiday naming it JUNETEENTH. While many may question the need for this newly proclaimed federal holiday, Condolezza Rice writes, “To me Juneteenth is a recognition of what I call America’s second founding.”

I recently finished a moving and informative novel called “Sweetness of Water” depicting the struggles of both white and black neighbors living in the South soon after the emancipation. Perhaps today we can take a moment as Condolezza’s family did yearly, to think about how those who had been born into slavery felt after learning of their freedom. She adds “And I will give thanks for being born in a country where such moral progress is possible. That is worth celebrating not just by black Americans but by all of us.”

-Harriet

MEMORIAL DAY MEMORIES

I wondered this year why my memories of actively commemorating Memorial Day up north seemed so different than while I’ve been living in the south. Then I learned that the early “official” recognitions happened soon after the end of the Civil War.

While many towns have claimed to be the first, I found the earliest observance was held on May 1, 1865 in Charleston, SC when freed enslaved people and members of the US Colored Troops gathered to remember the dead.

The name has been changed from Decoration Day to Memorial Day. The day of observance has been changed from May 30 to the last Monday in May.

Let’s not change the essence of this holiday. Whether you attend a Memorial Day concert or parade, place a wreath or flag on a grave or pause at 3 pm your time for a minute of silence you will be honoring those who have died in the US military. We owe them that much and more.

-Harriet

COMPASSION COMEBACK ???????

On April 23, 2024 Vox published an article by Stanford University professor of psychology, Jamil Zaki, “Compassion Is Making a Comeback In America.” The subtitle was “A decade ago research showed a troubling dip in empathy. A new study provides more hope, as in Sara Konrath’s new research update.”

What is the difference between compassion and empathy? According to the Oxford Language Dictionary, compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the suffering or misfortunes of others. I prefer the Psychology Today explanation – an empathic understanding of a person’s feelings accompanied by altruism or a desire to act on that person’s behalf.

While we can never feel another’s emotions, we can try to “taste” the feelings or place ourselves in their footsteps. I’m also clear we can’t changed someone else’s feelings or dire situation. However, there are ways to support others. For example: donate money, bring food or other necessities, make a phone call or send a text saying, “I’m thinking of you” or offer a tangible way of assisting, such as running an errand or picking someone up from the airport.

In my many years of counseling, I’ve learned that a majority of “compassionate” people place themselves last on the list. Think about that. Are you that person?

Let’s all focus more on having more empathy/compassion for others and ourselves.

– Harriet

WONDERFUL WISE WOMEN

International Women’s Day has been observed on March 8 since the early 1900’s, specifically addressing the inequality of work conditions, pay and voting rights in Europe. Since 1987 March has been designated by presidential proclamation to honor women’s contributions in America. It also has become a dedicated month to raise awareness of the ongoing issues related to gender inequality and human rights.

Today on my birthday I wish to acknowledge some recent accomplishments by some amazing women.

1- Christina Koch will become the first female astronaut assigned for a flight to the moon after a 50 year hiatus, having lived for 328 days on the International Space Station in 2019.

2- Israeli conductor Bar Avni won the women’s international competition in Paris beating 197 competitors from 47 countries.

3- Admiral Lisa Franchetti is the first woman to head the the US Navy, thereby becoming the first woman to serve on the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

4- In 2023 several universities named female presidents for the very first time.

5- Clara Goldin was the first solo woman awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics just last year.

6- In 2022 Taylor Swift gave the commencement speech at NYU titled “Cringe Is Unavoidable”

The list goes on and on and I encourage you to learn about other inspiring women who have been trailblazers throughout the centuries.

-Harriet