For one, Queen Victoria, after the death of her husband, Albert, spiraled into a state of pathological grief, hardly functioning for years and dressed in black for the remainder of her life.

We have just witnessed Queen Elizabeth dressed in black and sitting alone at her husband Philip’s funeral. While COVID guidelines and restrictions might have been responsible for the latter, it is true we are all alone in our grief, regardless of who holds our hand or sits besides us.

The Queen chose some healthy grief rituals such as reportedly having a photo of her and Prince Philip as well as one of his handkerchiefs in her purse. On his coffin she placed a handwritten note to her husband of 73 years. In addition, it had been observed that Queen Elizabeth was “wiping away a tear”.

While strict mourning rituals will be followed by the Royal Family , the Queen will grieve in her own normal/unique way just like you and I. (Normal for the way she has grieved during her life and unique for the relationship she had with her husband). I imagine her dogs will be a source of comfort as well as the outpouring of condolence messages from around the world.

I look forward to the day she replaces the black mourning clothes with her favored pastels.

Queen Elizabeth was quoted as saying, “Grief is the price we pay for love” after 9/11.

-Harriet