As my friend returned to her golf cart after hitting a less than perfect golf shot she said, ”My brain got in the way.”

Instantly it triggered a parallel to grief. During my years counseling I often heard, “How long will it take?, Why can’t I concentrate?, I’m not sleeping like I used to.” As I needed to validate the normal feelings and reactions and educate as well I would explain that grief is an emotional experience , not an intellectual one. While grief is a blow to the psyche, it manifests in the body.

Much research has been done since I began my career in 1991 and “grief brain” is now a recognized part of grieving with changes in eating, sleeping, concentration and memory being temporary, lasting on the average from six months to a year. Yes the brain gets in the way of grieving.

While the brain is affected after the death of a friend or family member, remember it’s an emotional experience that needs to be embraced and not feared. Acknowledging and embracing the normal feelings of disbelief, sadness, anxiety, fear, remorse and anger is what heals us. We call it grief work. It’s challenging and painful but it’s worth the journey.

-Harriet